A Doll's House
by Eladard Kikur
Summary: A select few from Eliwood's Elite perform the controversial play for the rest of the group. Only complete and utter chaos can manifest from this.
1. Prolouge, schmolouge!

_Dedicated to the class of 2005, the last class to read the play since next year will no longer have the World Literature class._

* * *

The camp was bored. With no enemies to fight, "Eliwood's Elite" would be extremely restless. Unfortunately, Marth had the burden of coming up with fun activities for the group. After 32 such incidents, she just wanted to retreat to her tent and do whatever it is she does in there. Actually, she did just that after the 33rd time. This is when the tactician found an evil idea… 

"Go away! Leave me be, you pink-haired spawn of Satan!"

"But I love you, Erky!"

"Come back here so that I can slice 'n' dice your shounen-ai lovin' carcass!"

"Yeah, and I can sell off all your possessions!"

Erk, Serra, Guy, and Matthew were running around the encampment like little kids. The temperamental pyromaniac was trying to escape from the world's most annoying cleric, who was trying to outrun an angry myrmidon and thief. Apparently, Serra must have thought that Guy and Matthew were a couple. They continued making a racket (with clueless yet bored spectators watching in a circle) when Marth emerged with a large blue textbook.

"Hey, people! I've got a fun idea!" called Marth. She was unheard as the daily chaos continued.

"If the tactician'll lemme upgrade to an assassin, I'll finish you off!" yelled Matthew to Serra.

"Got my Killing Edge! You're gonna pay for slander, cur!" bellowed Guy.

"Erky! Save your master!" shrieked Serra.

"Hey, you two! Finish her off already!" snapped Erk, whose patience was quickly running out.

Marth sighed, ready to use Bolting on the foursome… although she could never hit the intended target. She moved through the crowd to get a better view of the chaos.

"Erky! Why are these two cute gay men trying to kill me? They're such a lovely couple!" cried Serra.

"One: they're _not_ gay! Two: who wouldn't want to kill you?" Erk snapped back.

"Don't make me spread slander about you and Priscilla!" yelled Matthew with a murderous look on his face.

"Noooo! Leave Priscilla out of this!" Guy snapped at Matthew.

"What'd you say about Priscilla?" bellowed Raven, who was in the crowd. He leaped out and pursed Guy and Matthew with his sword swinging wildly and dangerously.

Lighting struck in broad daylight and struck poor Lowen. Everyone froze and gazed upon the unfortunate human lightning rod. The cavalier's messy hair was now standing on end. Everyone gasped in horror when they discovered that he had large emerald-colored eyes.

"Soldier… How come you've never said that you had green eyes?" Marcus asked with his voice trembling in terror, as if this was a sign of the approaching apocalypse.

"No one… a-asked me…" Lowen fizzed and sparked a bit before passing out.

All was silent before the stunned tactician spoke. "I-I have an idea to combat the boredom." She moved her cloak over a spell tome to conceal it. Her face was turning hot pink while attempting to hide the tome. "W-we should have a… a play! I've found an interesting one. It's called A Doll's House."

"Who's gonna do what?" asked Nino.

"Let's see… Florina and Hector will be the Lindes. Florina's a widow looking for a job," said Marth.

"A widow, eh? Are you sure it's a good idea to give Florina a speaking role? She doesn't talk, or when she does, it's just quite mumblin'," spoke Hector. He just realized something and it made the big guy furious. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S THE WIDOW? THAT MEANS THAT MR. LINDE IS _DEAD_! WHAT DO I DO?" he shouted angrily.

"…Be dead?" she replied. "Trust me, it'll do Florina good to practice being a widow. Plus Mrs. Linde and Nora get into an argument, so it'll be fun to see this unfold!" Marth's words didn't sooth Hector. He simply sulked off while mumbling choice words and displaying choice gestures.

"Um… I'll try my best…" Florina squeaked softly.

"Ok, Sain'll be Dr. Rank. The Helmers will be played by Lyn and Kent. Kent, you're Torvald Helmer and Lyn, you're Nora Helmer."

"W-what? I'm gonna argue with _Florina_? I'm n-not sure about this…" stuttered a surprised Sacaen.

"Relax, it'll be all right. The maid is Priscilla, the three kids'll be Nino, Ninian, and Serra."

"_I_ have to be a child? Injustice!" screamed Serra.

"It suits you just fine," grinned Erk. This resulted in him receiving a blow to the head with a Sleep Staff. Whether it was the staff's power or the concussion resulting from the blow, Erk was soon out cold.

"Lucius is the nurse. Yes, there _are_ male nurses. (the monk gave Marth a dreadful look.) Nils, you get the cool part! You get to play the lawyer, Nils Krogstad!"

"H-his name's Nils?" asked the said bard.

"Yep! He's a mean lawyer that blackmails Nora, who's played by Lyn. I think you should act like a whiny little brat when the others are on stage, but all evil and money-grubbing when you're with just Nora!"

"'Whiny little brat'? 'Evil and money-grubbing'? I-I'm not sure I can pull this off!" squeaked Nils.

"Be like Jaffar or Vaida for the evil part. (the said units shouted "Hey!" in unison.) Be like Farina for the money-grubbing part. (the pegasus knight stuck her tongue out at Marth.) The whiny little brat part? Come." Marth gestured Nils to her tent.

"I think she really fancies lil' Nils!" said Eliwood.

"And a few others too. Four other allies…," Canas said quietly.

Marth took Nils into her tent, which was something she never does. Nils soon learned why. Her tent had a TV, Nintendo systems, a little mini-fridge, and a wireless laptop. They sat on the cot and Marth pulled up a website.

"I've something to show you." Marth clicked on the drop-down bar and selected the fifth item. "Here, read this starting at chapter five. Take good notes on how to be a whiny little brat, then come out when you're done." Marth hugged Nils and left him there to read.

As Marth came back, Lucius ran up to her.

"Excuse me, but what's the name of my character?" asked Lucius.

"Anne-Marie," she replied. Lucius wrinkled his nose in disgust. "You look more like a Jessica to me." Lucius grimaced, but nodded in acknowledgement.

"What else… Oh! The porter! Farina, would you be the porter?"

"Sure! A good way to make some gold!" mused Farina.

"Since this'll be the first time we'll do this, it'll be more humorous! Enjoy!" Marth stood aside while some people brought in props.


	2. Act One, Seen Idiots, Injuries Numerous

Rath and Pent tied up a spare tent on the tree to make it look like a room in a house… sort of. Louise and Vaida brought in some chairs, portable tables, and knick-knacks to help furnish the "room". The others that didn't have a role brought out picnics, blankets, and sat down to watch the play when it starts. All the "actors" were grouped together talking except for our little Krogstad.

"Where the (expletive) is Nils?" roared Hector.

"I believe he is still learning how to act like a normal bratty kid," mumbled Marth. She ran back to her tent and found the bard still reading whatever it was she made him read.

"Nils? We're all ready for you," Marth said sweetly.

"…" The child's amber eyes were glazed over and he clicked the mouse to scroll down. He moved the cursor to the left and right arrow buttons, but found only the left arrow. Nils drew in a sharp breath and screamed bloody murder! The whole continent (and then some!) turned their heads to the direction of the scream with awe and curiosity. Nils curled up in fetal position on the ground, sobbing hysterically and muttering nonsensical words in a shaky voice.

"…Are you all right there?" asked the dumbstruck tactician.

"W-when a-are y-you g-gonna c-continue? C-cliff h-hangers! I hate 'em! P-please! C-continue it…" It sounded like the poor boy was hyperventilating.

"Soon, because I get writer's block all the time, plus I have a habit of starting one story then start another one and don't update the first one-"

Nils reached up for her shirt and pulled her down to his level. "I NEED TO READ MORE! MORE!"

"Don't h-hurt me! Please!"

It took a few minutes to drag out a traumatized Nils. Everyone ran up to him, bombarding the boy with questions about her tent. Nils just whimpered while Marth threatened to send everyone into the enemy with no weapons in the next battle if they didn't leave Nils alone. Now they can put on the play.

"…And I still think that it's fascinating how the meaning of your symbol in chapter six is evident since the beginning of chapter fifteen! It's very subtle to someone if they just plow through the story. It looked like just an innocent game to pass the time, but I read between the lines and caught on their expressions, especially hers. I'm calling her a her because she probably would like that if she was real, you know, out of courtesy. Also, the Giant panda symbolizes yin and yang, didja know that? It's evident in her because she shows both yin and yang at different times. I read the beginning even though you wanted me to start at five and she had one side in two and a different side at the end of four. Hey, they're like yin and yang too! He's like yang and she's yin because yin is feminine and yang is masculine, or was it the other way around?"

"Nils? _Please_ tell me that you don't think that it's a bad thing that I'm slowing making it a…"

"A field day for an English teacher with your use of hidden symbols? Yes! Also, it's interesting how the two protagonists take turns being the antagonist as well-"

"Why did I ever make you read it is beyond me!"

Sain ran up to the two with the book in his hand. Sain was about to grab her arm when he hastily retreated his arm back. He's suffered many consequences from hitting on her and just showing affection for her. Marth was definitely not the type of girl that likes "mushy romantic crap", as she bluntly puts it.

"Milady, I have a question for you, O wise one!" called Sain.

"What is it?" she asked in a bored tone.

"Can we use our names instead of the characters?"

"Go ahead then."

Sain began to walk away, but began to turn his head around slightly towards her chest.

"Take one look at them and I will kill you like the homicidal maniac I am."

Sain quickly snapped his neck around and broke off in a frantic run.

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls, humans and Mamkutes of all ages! I bring you the play, A Doll's House by Henrik Ibsen!" announced Marth "onstage". Everyone applauded and the crazy tactician related to the devil walked off stage. 

Marth took out her laptop and played a doorbell WAV file. It was actually a Halloween one because after the bell sound came little kid voices crying in unison "Trick-or-treat!" Lyn jumped and chuckled with everyone else at the blunder. Marth played another sound, a door opening one. Lyn pranced in, humming the first movement of "Folk Song Suite" by R. Vaughn Williams. She was carrying an armload of parcels, then she laid them down onto the table. Lyn left the "door" open after her and Farina was heaving a large potted plant with a Christmas star on top of it. She managed to hand it over to Priscilla, whose knees buckled from the plant's weight.

"This… backbreaking labor costs you 41,443 gold. Ow… I'm not doing this for my health, you know!" spat the money-obsessed pegasus knight as she stretched her back.

"I think I-I have some gold in m-my pocket-Oh no! Help! I'm gonna faaaaaall!" The troubadour fell over backwards and landed on Erk with the plant on top of her chest.

"You're… crushing my… lung…!" gasped Erk.

"Um…" Lyn looked at her book and found where they're at. "Hide the Christmas tree carefully, Helen."

"…If I c-can get up-p…" groaned Priscilla.

"My lungs are being crushed here-Oh, great. I have atelectasis now," muttered Erk.

"I'll help you up for 2,723 gold," said Farina. "Ain't I generous? It's usually more, but for you it's lower!"

"Lady Lyndis!" called Sain.

"Sain! You're not in here yet!" hissed Lyn.

"I spoke with Marth earlier and she said that we can use our names instead if we wanted to," said Sain.

"'Kay, got it." Lyn looked over her lines again and cleared her throat. "Hide the Christmas tree carefully, Priscilla. Be sure the children do not see it until this evening, when it is dressed."

"That's one pathetic Christmas tree," chortled Hector. "No child would look at that tree and not laugh until the cows come home!"

"It's the best we could do on a low budget," said Wallace.

"_What_ 'low budget'? We're millionaires, for God's sake! We can afford a blasted tree!"

"In less than 10 minutes when the nearest store is a day away with bandits along the path, waiting to kill you?"

"…I hate you, old man."

Lyn went up to Farina and asked "How much?"

"57,522 gold," answered Farina.

"No, you're line is 'Sixpence'," said Lyn.

"What the heck is sixpence? I'm gonna charge 57,522 gold and nothing lower!"

"Ok, ok… Moving on-"

"Hey! Where's my money, ya freeloader?" Farina moved Lyn's book down and glared at her.

"You're not serious, are you?" Lyn asked with suspicion.

"You bet your sweet bippy I'm serious! Fork it over, tightwad!" Farina stretched out her hand and gestured for the money. Lyn narrowed her eyes and took out the king's ransom of gold for her.

"There is a shilling. No, keep the change," Lyn said unenthusiastically.

"Happy to be of service of you, m'lady!" Farina answered gleefully. She ran to Priscilla, who also paid her due. Farina ran into Marth's tent, then shouted "Where the (expletive) is it?" Farina ran out and shouted "Where's that box thing that allows you to find anything you want in the world?"

"You mean this?" Marth showed her the laptop.

"Yeah, that! Hand it over! I need to make a bid on eBay!"

"A bid on eBay, eh? Since when do you go on eBay?" Marth asked snidely.

"Ever since I joined your group. That one night when you got a little tipsy at that one inn, I sneaked into your tent and used that thing. I've been sneaking on it since then."

"Ah, no wonder why I keep finding sites in the history folder that I've never gone to the night before. Wait… Did I do anything stupid when I was drunk by accident?" Marth stammered with her face turning red.

Farina grinned like a Cheshire cat and answered in a sing-song tone "Besides declaring your love for Lucius, Nils, Erk, Priscilla, and Florina then marrying all of them at once?"

"Yes."

"Nothing, then." Farina took off on her pegasus and headed for a town to buy things.

"Meh, I hope that the others dismissed that as nonsense and don't think that it's real…" she sighed. "The marriage, that is."

Lyn shut the "door" and was laughing at the little incident with Farina and Marth while taking off a coat and hat. She reached into her pocket and pulled out nothing. She looked frantically around and didn't find the thing she was supposed to take out of her pocket.

"Where am I going to get a packet of macaroons from?" she cried in dismay.

"M'lady, I just made you some wonderful, wonderful macaroons!" called Lowen. He took out a box of freshly baked macaroons and ran up to her with them.

"Th-thanks, Lowen," she answered back. Lyn ate a couple of the cookies, then goes up cautiously to another "door". "Yes, he is in." Lyn continued to hum and headed for the table.

" Is that my little-Wah? _'Little lark'_?" Kent said in disgust.

"Haha! How sweet, Kent. You're calling Lady Lyndis a 'little lark'! Wah-hahaha!" Sain continued to laugh (he was behind the "door" with Kent) until the sound of someone getting punched in the face emitted. "Ow… Heehee, 'little lark' Lyndis…"

"_Shut_ up, Sain!" growled Kent. "Ahem! Is that my little lark twittering out there?" he called to Lyn.

"'Twittering'… hih-hih-hih…"

"I mean it! Quite acting so childish!" Kent roared.

"Lady Lyndis the little lark that twitters… Bah-hahahaha!"

"Cut it _out_! What seems to be so funny about this line? Quite laughing over some stupid little perverted meaning behind the lines, Sain!"

"It's not perverted! It just sounds so funny! Lyndis a little bird twittering around like a hummingbird… The mental image of this is making me laugh! Seems like _you're_ the one who found a 'perverted meaning' behind this, Kent!"

A sound of someone being kicked emitted followed by Sain falling to his knees and moaning in utter pain. It was obvious where he got kicked at.

Lyn began to open the presents (which were bought by Marth) and answered "Yes, it is!"

"Is it my little-_squirrel?_ Err… Is it my little squirrel bustling about?" Kent asked uneasily.

"'Squirrel'?" repeated Lyn while attempting to keep from laughing.

"I think it would have been better to have Lord Hector and Lady Florina as the Helmers instead of us…" sighed Kent.

"Yeah so that I'm not _dead_!" bellowed Hector, who was gripping tightly on his Wolf Beil.

"Yes!" called Lyn. "I meant yes to your question, Kent."

"Ugh… When did my squirrel come home?" asked Kent. Sain began to giggle again, so Kent struck his partner over the head with the blue textbook.

"Just… Haha… Just now. Hahaha!" Lyn could not keep her laughing fit under control and began to snort uncontrollably (think of the protagonist from _Miss Congeniality_). "C-come in (snort) here, Tor-Kent, and (snort) see what I have bought."

"Since when did Lady Lyndis snort like that?" Sain whispered softly to Kent.

"Don't disturb me," answered Kent to Lyn.

"Sor-ree! Sheesh…" grumbled Sain.

"I meant to Lyndis, you lout!"

"Oh, my bad."

Kent emerged from the makeshift "door" with a quill in his hand and with an injured Sain crawling along side him. "Bought, did you say? All these things? Has my little spendthrift been wasting money again?" He looked into Lyn's face and quickly stammered "I-I d-didn't mean that p-personally! Y-you're not a spendthrift! Y-You never waste money!"

"You're a dead man, Kent," chuckled Sain, but then he flinched in pain from laughing.

"Yes but, Kent, this year we really can let ourselves go a little. This is the first Christmas that we have not needed to economize." Lyn walked up to Kent, then looked down at poor Sain. The green-haired ladies' man raised his hand to her and she turned her nose up to him. Sain heaved a sigh of defeat and crawled offstage.

"Still, you know, we can't spend money recklessly. I guess that's true out in the battlefield too," said Kent.

"True dat!" cheered Marth.

"I-is she d-drunk again?" squeaked Florina.

"No, then she would be babbling about being from the future again," chuckled Eliwood.

"Ahem! Yes, Kent, we may be a wee bit more reckless now, mayn't we? Just a tiny wee bit! You are going to have a big salary and earn lots and lots of money." Lyn grabbed onto Kent's shirt and gave him the ol' "puppy eyes" stare.

"…Help… me…" croaked the red-head cavalier.

"Is this some big Lyn/Kent story?" asked Legault.

"Hush, peon!" shouted Marth.

"Yes, after the New Year; but then it will be a whole quarter before the salary is due." Kent hugged Lyn and stuck his tongue out at Marth in a taunting manner. Marth returned the gesture with the international gesture for "Better save up for the salary!"

"Pooh! We can borrow until then," answered Lyn. She began to hum the theme song for Winnie the Pooh.

"…This play is purely chaotic. We're all gonna mess up. We'll all look like bloody fools in front of all the others," mumbled Kent to the Lyn's tune.


	3. Stupid Lark

"Lyn!" called Kent. He went up to Lyn and took her playfully by the ear.

"Ouch! Watch the earring, you're gonna rip it outta my ear!" winced Lyn.

"Sorry, Milady," blushed Kent. "The same little featherhead! Ah, sorry, again! I don't mean it personally! Ugh... Suppose, now, that I borrowed fifty... pounds? Let's make that gold instead, ok? Fifty gold today, and you spent it all in the Christmas week, and then... Wait, that's not enough. How about fifty hundred? Ok, and you spent it all in the Christmas week, and then on New Year's Eve a slate fell on my head and killed me, and-"

Lyn placed her hands over Kent's mouth. "Oh! Don't say such horrid things."

"He'd never get killed by a slate," laughed Sain, who then flinched from his injuries. "He's too focused on duty. Wait... never mind, he'd be so focused on duty that he might not see the slate falling towards him."

"Gee, thanks a lot," grumbled Kent.

"No problemo!" Sain crawled away and Serra went to heal him, much to his luck.

Kent walked around Lyn in a lawyer-like fashion with his finger to his chin. "Still, suppose that happened,-" he stopped in front of her and asked "-what then?"

"If that were to happen, I don't suppose I should care whether I owed money or not," Lyn answered apathetically. She shrugged her shoulders and began to walk away from Kent.

"Yes, but what about the people who had lent it?" Kent walked up to Lyn and placed his hands on her shoulders. Sain began to chuckle and Kent gave him a threatening glare.

"They? Who would bother about them? I should not know who they were," she answered back.

"That is like a woman!" Kent yelled.

"Before you two continue, I have some information about this play!" called Canas.

"What is it?" they asked in unison.

Canas adjusted his monocle in a nerdy-scholar manner and cleared his throat. "I've heard that Torvald's use of the nicknames 'little lark', etc., were used because the animals that he called Nora had little brains. This implies that Torvald is suggesting that Nora has a little brain, thus degrading her intellectual..."

"ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID?" Lyn roared with rage at both the shaman and cavalier.

"N-n-no! I'd never say such-" stammered Kent.

"B-b-but it's a meta-" Canas also stammered in unison.

Lyn unsheathed the Mani Katti and attack both men. In her newfound rage, she got a Critical Hit on both men. Everyone else looked on with fear and Marth mumbled under her breath "Whoa, Lyn just went crazy on them!" The two men collapsed onto the ground, covered in bumps, bruises, cuts, and fractures. Canas had a black eye over the one eye that usually has the monocle.

"NEXT PERSON WHO CALLS ME STUPID, I WILL KILL YOU!" screamed Lyn.

"...!" Everyone was too afraid to answer her properly.

"Ow... Don't kill the messenger..." gasped Canas.

"Ugh... Since our Torvald's near death..." started Marth. She adjusted her nerdy glasses and said happily in singsong "Who wants to play as Torvald?" Insert the big emoticon from Gaia Online.

Everyone screamed in fear and tried to runaway, as if they'd just listened to the punk band Malice of Forethought. Of course, the band doesn't suck like they've said they did. Actually, the band doesn't go insane and attack people calling them 'little lark', etc. like Lyn does. That must mean only one thing: it's that time of the month for the Sacaen/Lycian noble. Insert the big emoticon from Gaia Online again.

"Rath," called Marth. She gave him the gesture for "Come here". Of course, it's not _that_ gesture, or else she would be giving him the international gesture for "Get your worthless butt over here now, you nomadic savage!" instead.

"..." he answered.

"You could be Torvald, since you're also Sacaen like Lyn."

"?" he exclaimed. He looked over to Guy, then back to her.

"Well, you and Lyn were close, so I figured..."

"!" he yelled at the evil tactician.

"Don't be shy! Act your heart out!" Marth nudged him towards the stage with the textbook in hand.

"..." he said to himself sadly.

"My period had so much fun with this, especially when my teacher read Torvald's part. Great acting!"

"..." Rath sighed depressingly.

Luckily for Rath, Kent recovered from his injuries. Thank Priscilla, because she's not demonic like Serra.

"!" Rath whooped with sheer joy. He patted the evil tactician on the shoulder a few times and went back to his spot to resume watching the play.

Kent hobbled towards Lyn and gingerly picked up the blue textbook. He scanned the piece to find where he left off at. The Lycian cleared his throat and said, "But seriously, Lyn, you know what I think about that. No debt, no borrowing. There can be no freedom or beauty about a home life that depends on borrowing and debt. We two have kept bravely on the straight road so far, and we will go on the same way for the short time longer that there need be any struggle."

"As you please, Kent," replied Lyn as she moved over to a dilapidated "stove" whilst sharpening her Mani Katti.

"Ugh… Try not to slaughter Torvald, ok?" Marth asked meekly.

"If he doesn't call me those nicknames again," Lyn replied.

"But I'm sorry, milady! I did not mean them personally!" implored Kent.

He read ahead and gasped in horror. Marth looked over his shoulder and began to chuckle while trying to hum the funeral march. Apparently, it seems like Kent will be driven to an early grave. He has found… another humiliating nickname for our Nora!

"Why must I suffer through this?" he sobbed.

"Because our class read this and I thought that it'd be fun for us to do," replied Marth.

"Have you ever lost a Torvald because of this?"

"Nope, not at all."

Kent sighed depressingly and decided to read it aloud. "Lyn, _please_ don't kill me for this line. Please! Ahem! Come, come, my little…skylark—" He read the nickname as if it were a horribly offensive racial slur that he didn't want to utter.

Lyn quickly turned around with her Mani Katti in her hands, ready to kill him. Kent turned white as he quickly read the rest of his lines.

"—must not droop her wings. What is this! Is my little squirrel out of temper? Lyn, what do you think I have got here? PLEASE DON'T KILL ME, PLEASE! O SAINT ELIMINE, DO NOT LET LYN KILL ME!"

"I am… NOT a (expletive) skylark!" shrilled Lyn. She picked up her book and read her lines. "Money!" she answered coolly.

"There you are. Do you think I don't know what a lot is wanted for housekeeping at Christmastime?" said Kent. He had given her all his money in a futile effort to appease the human time-bomb that's just waiting to explode.

"Ten shillings—a pound—two pounds! Thank you, thank you, Torvald; that will keep me going for a long time," mused Lyn. She whispered in his ear " 450,986 gold is enough to keep me from decapitating you for calling me these names… for now." The last part was said in a malicious tone.

"Let's hope so…" he mumbled. "Indeed it must," he said aloud.

"Yes, yes, it will. But come here and let me show you what I have bought. And all so cheap! Look, here is a new suit for Nino, and a sword; and a horse and a trumpet for Ninian; and a doll and dolly's bedstead for Serra, they are very plain, but anyway she will soon break them in pieces. And here are dress-lengths and handkerchiefs for the maids; old Lucius ought really to have something better." When Lyn opened the presents, though, she discovered that they were filled with odd contraptions. They were all items from Marth's time.

"And what is in this parcel?" asked Kent as he shook one that contained a video tape of the old Super Mario cartoons.

Lyn placed two of the items she was examining quizzically (a Spice Girls CD and a Tamagotchi) down onto the table and ran to Kent. "No, no! You mustn't see that until this evening."

"Very well. But now tell me, you extravagant little person, what would you like for yourself?" Kent braced himself for the possibility of Lyn killing him on the spot for that name.

"For myself? Oh, I am sure I don't want anything." Lyn went back to examining the Tamagotchi, curious about what it was.

"Yes, but you must. Tell me something reasonable that you would particularly like to have."

Lyn paused a bit, then said slowly, "No, I really can't think of anything—unless, Kent—"

"Well?" he grunted.

Lyn was playing with his coat buttons and without giving him any eye contact. Kent tensed up as Lyn was doing this because he's not used to Lyn acting so… flirtatious (as he would call this behavior). "If you really want to give me something, you might—you might—"

"W-well, o-out w-with i-it!" stammered Kent as his face was turning as red as his hair.

Lyn showed him the Tamagotchi and said, "This! I'd like to keep this Tama-whatchyamacallit! It's so intriguing!"

Kent and everyone else was floored with disbelief.

"You might give me money, Kent," read Lyn. "Only just as much as you can afford; and then one of these days I will buy something with it."

Before Kent could say anything, stupid Bartre had to add in his two cents.

"Yeah, you stupid lark! Get lots of money because he's loaded with gold!"

Lyn's eye and mouth twitched as the first sentence sunk in quicker than Hector being tossed into a deep lake. She unsheathed her sword and chased the imbecile around the stage, screaming out expletives and death threats. To make things worse for Bartre, he's an axe user who doesn't have the swordreaver in his possession.

Pitiful fool.


End file.
